March Meditation

From Psalm 102

Hear my prayer, O Lord;
   let my cry come to you.
Do not hide your face from me
   on the day of my distress.
Incline your ear to me;
   answer me speedily on the day when I call.
For my days pass away like smoke,
   and my bones burn like a furnace.
My heart is stricken and withered like grass;
   I am too wasted to eat my bread.
Because of my loud groaning
   my bones cling to my skin.
For I eat ashes like bread,
   and mingle tears with my drink,
because of your indignation and anger;
   for you have lifted me up and thrown me aside.
My days are like an evening shadow;
   I wither away like grass.
But you, O Lord, are enthroned for ever;
   your name endures to all generations.
You will rise up and have compassion. . .
He will regard the prayer of the destitute,
   and will not despise their prayer.
Let this be recorded for a generation to come,
   so that a people yet unborn may praise the Lord:
that he looked down from his holy height,
   from heaven the Lord looked at the earth,
to hear the groans of the prisoners,
   to set free those who were doomed to die.

Meditation: “Meaning and Happiness” by Ron Rolheiser

Even saints who suffered with depression had trouble praying and believing God cared about them or that they were any good. St. Gregory Nazianzus once wrote: The breath of my life, O Lord, seems spent. My body is tense, my mind filled with anxiety, yet I have no zest, no energy. Dark thoughts constantly invade my head. Lord, raise up my soul, revive my body. In the early 1800s, John Vianney, the Curé of Ars, was the pastor of a tiny village in France. Streams of pilgrims made their way to Ars for confession and advice. Despite his holiness, Vianney felt God to be so far from him that he was afraid he had lost his faith. Vianney feared he was ruining everything and had become an obstacle to God’s grace. There was not a moment when he felt that God was satisfied with him. When depression seemed to overpower him completely, he would throw himself down before God like a “dog at the feet of his master,” and weather the storm with a persevering resolution to love and serve God if he could.

What would help you to be more at peace with yourself right now? Are you self-critical? Ashamed? Angry with yourself? Frustrated? What would help you to be able to live each moment with a little bit of hope?

Song:  What Wondrous Love is This, performed by the St. Olaf Choir

What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul,What wondrous love is this, O my soul?What wondrous love that caused the Lord of blissTo bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soulTo bear the dreadful curse for my soul?When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking downWhen I was sinking down, sinking down,When I was sinking down beneath God’s righteous frownChrist laid aside his crown for my soul, for my soulChrist laid aside his crown for my soulTo God and to the Lamb I will sing, I will singTo God and to the Lamb I will singTo God and to the Lamb  who is the great I AMWhile millions join the theme I will sing, I will singWhile millions join the theme I will singAnd when from death I’m free I’ll sing on,And when from death I’m free I’ll sing onAnd when from death I’m freeI’ll sing his love for meAnd through eternity I will sing on, I’ll sing onAnd through eternity I’ll sing on.

Sacred Silence 

Scripture (1 John 1:1-5; 3:1)

We declare to you what was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the word of life – this life was revealed, and we have seen it and testify to it, and declare to you the eternal life that was with the Father and revealed to us – we declare to you what we have seen and heard so that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and his Son Jesus Christ. We are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him there is no darkness at all. . . See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are.

Next Meeting: Thursday, March 30

Please join us for the next meeting of the Saint Agnes Depression Support Group this Thursday, March 30, at 6:30pm in the Fireplace Room of the Parish Center. As we journey through Lent, we recall the salvific suffering of our Lord and seek to unite our suffering to His, knowing that He walks with us every step of the way. Together we will celebrate this holy season in prayerful meditation and solidarity with each other and with all those who suffer from depression. We look forward to seeing you, getting to know you, and praying with you tomorrow night!

February Meditation

Psalm 3

ALL: O Lord, how many are my foes!
Many are rising against me;
Many are saying to me,
“There is no help for you in God.”
But you, O Lord, are a shield around me,
My glory, the one who lifts up my head.
I cry aloud to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy hill.
I lie down and sleep; I wake again, for the Lord sustains me.
I am not afraid of tens of thousands of people
Who have set themselves against me all around.
Rise up, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God!
Deliverance belongs to the Lord.
May your blessing be on your people.

Meditation: “Meaning and Happiness” by Ron Rolheiser

Am I happy? Is my life a happy one? Am happy inside my marriage? Am I happy with my family? Am I happy in my job? Am I happy with my church? Am I happy inside my own skin?

Are these good questions to ask ourselves? No. They’re questions with which to torture ourselves. When we face our lives honestly this kind of question about happiness is more likely to bring tears to our eyes than solace to our souls because, no matter how well our lives are going, none of us live perfectly fulfilled lives. Always there are unfulfilled dreams. Always there are areas of frustration. Always there are tensions. Always there are deeper hungers that are being stifled. A lot of times it is not easy to feel happy.

But we are asking the wrong questions. The question should not be: Am I happy? Rather the questions should be: Is my life meaningful? Is there meaning in my life? Is there meaning in my marriage? Is there meaning in my family? Is there meaning in my job? Is there meaning inside my church? We need to ask the deep questions about our lives in terms of meaning rather than in terms of happiness because, for the most part, we have a false, over-idealized, and unrealistic concept of happiness.

We tend to equate happiness with two things, pleasure and lack of tension. Hence we fantasize that for us to be happy we would need to be in a situation within which we would be free of all the tensions that normally flood into our lives from: pressure, tiredness, interpersonal friction, physical pain, financial worry, disappointment in our jobs, frustration with our churches, frustration with our favorite sports teams, and every other headache and heartache that can appear. Happiness, as it is superficially conceived of, means perfect health, perfectly fulfilled relationships, a perfect job, no anxiety or tension in life, no disappointments, and the time and money to enjoy the good life.

But that isn’t what constitutes happiness. Meaning is what constitutes happiness and meaning isn’t contingent upon pain and tension being absent from our lives:  Imagine if someone had come up to Jesus as he was dying on the cross and asked him the question: Are you happy up there? His answer, I am sure, would have been unequivocal: “No! And today in particular I am not happy!” However, the perspective is quite different if, while on the cross, Jesus would have been asked this question: “Is there meaning in what you are doing up there?” There can be deep meaning in something even if there isn’t happiness in the way we superficially conceive of it.

Song: Prayer of St. Teresa of Avila

Nada te turbe,
Nada te espante;
Quien a Dio tiene
Nada le falta
Nada te turbe,
Nada te espante;
Solo Dios basta.
Todo se pasa,
Dios no se muda,
La pacienca todo lo alcanza.
En Cristo mi confianza,
Y de El solo mi asimiento;
En sus cansancios mi aliento,
Y en su imitacion
mi holganza.
Aqui estriba mi firmeza,
Aqui mi seguridad,
La prueba de mi verdad,
La muestra de mi firmeza.
Yo no durmais, no durmais,
Pues que no hay paz en la tierra.
No haya ningun cobarde,
Aventuremos la vida.
No hay que temer, no durmais,
Aventuremos la vida.

Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing scare you;
He who loves God
Needs nothing.
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing scare you.
God alone is enough.
Everything passes by,
God does not change.
With patience, everything is possible.
In Christ is my confidence
And my affection is his alone.
My breath is present in His weariness
And my peace of mind comes
By imitating Him.
Here lies my steadfastness,
Here lies my safety,
The proof of my truth,
The evidence of my steadfastness.
I no longer sleep, no longer sleep,
Because there is no peace on earth.
Let us not be cowards,
Let us venture to live.
Do not have fear, do not sleep.
Let us venture to live

Sacred Silence 

Scripture (Matthew 5:3-12)

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
Blessed are the poor in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.

January Meditation

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?Consider and answer me, O Lord my God! Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,and my enemy will say, “I have prevailed”; my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Meditation: From Salt and Light by Eberhard Arnold

Never burden yourself by looking far ahead. Always live one day at a time. If you can do this, you will live like children, birds, and flowers. For them each day is a lifetime. Every day unfolds new joy, new hope, even if every day may have brought you new shadows and new nightfall. Every day you may have broken down in guilt and failure. Every day may have shown you your helplessness a thousandfold. Yet each new day brings new sun, new air, and new grace.

In this way, trust grows, trust in God and in those in whom God is at work. Jesus encourages those who obey him to pray and believe again and again. He promises that when we ask, it shall be given. To those who knock, it will be opened, and they will enter, like going through an open gate into a large garden – God’s garden. The gate is narrow, but it is there for all.

Luke says clearly what the object of this asking, believing, waiting, and daring is. It is the Spirit! If you who are evil can give your children good things, truly you can rely on God to give you what you need – the Holy Spirit. Everything contained in the Sermon on the Mount is done by this Spirit, which has the nature of a lamb. In the Spirit, the material form of God’s new creation arises; it transforms wolves into lambs, and man’s predatory world into God’s kingdom of peace.

Song: As I Go Down to the River to Pray by Alison Krauss

Sacred Silence 

Scripture (Matthew 7:7-10)

Ask and it will be given to you; search and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Next Meeting: January 26, 2017

Happy New Year to all! Our prayers are already with you, that you may continue to walk towards healing and hope in 2017. Our January meeting will be held this Thursday, the 26th, at 6:30pm in the Fireplace Room of the Saint Agnes Parish Center. Please join us for an evening of warm fellowship in the midst of this winter cold! We look forward to seeing you there.

Article: A Stoic's Guide to Becoming Mentally Strong

Readers, take or leave this one as you will! I am posting it here because I've found it useful for myself the past few weeks in trying to overcome some longstanding patterns of bad behavior in response to minor stresses. The author demonstrates Cognitive Behavioral Therapy's (CBT's) link to Stoic philosophy, and gives four "tips" based on Stoicism to help us weather the crises that face us every day.

My favorite tip, and the one I've been using daily, is to begin each day by telling myself to expect the worst - my kids will make a horrific mess, there will be aggressive drivers on the road, other people will treat me discourteously - and plotting out in advance how I'll respond - I'll calmly clean up, I'll patiently distance myself from the bad drivers, I'll respond to others with good humor. I've found that it's made me more equanimous when dealing with difficulty, and made me paradoxically really delighted and happy when my (negative) expectations aren't met!

I hope you find something helpful, insightful, or perhaps even just humorous, in this piece as well!

Article: Praying with Depression (and Children)

When her husband urges her to pray the Our Father with her daughters every day, Gillian Marchenko is stopped in her tracks by her depression: 

I think about hallowed. Hallowed be your name. In my depression, my focus is me. When in the pit, I am thinking about how to get out, not that God is in control. I’m not praying for help, even though I act like I do sometimes. I’m not sure I even want to align myself with what God wants to do in me and in the world, because I’m afraid it will mean more pain.

Read more of her reflections on depression, prayer, and what it means to say, Thy will be done when you are suffering here.